Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Planet of Apes

Independence: When a nation goes down, or a society perishes, one condition may always be found; they forgot where they came from. They lost sight of what had brought them along.
-Carl Sandburg

Once upon a time, when humans were still monkeys, there already existed a much powerful and highly evolved form of primates on The Jupiter. As the restless and sprinting time passed by, the humans evolved into what they are and the Apes on The Jupiter became more advanced and their technology and machinery more sophisticated. They pitied humans, and to a certain extent were a bit shameful, as their brothers were not able to cope with tremors, global warming, waves, volcanoes, wars, viruses, etc. They wondered whether there were any other forces involved in their evolution as self-limiting, self-destroying and selfish beings. Yet they wondered why they were called “The Social Homo Sapiens Sapiens”. After a series of unfortunate events, the Apes were desperately waiting for a good change to occur for their cousins. Finally, when everything seemed to go haywire, they decided to offer Humans a helping hand. But the Humans did nothing unusual by turning the opportunity down.

“We, as mammals, have a come a long way. We have evolved into the most intelligent beings on earth, and probably the Universe as well. Whatever we’ve been through was not able to destroy us, unlike other beings, which either eat their own fellows or are vulnerable to nothing but death, whenever they are in crisis. And thus, could no longer hope to establish as concrete a civilisation, as ours. Although we’ve seen times which let us down, we had that will, which helped us to rise above all situations. From conquering all creatures of the planet, to finding sound answers for potentially dangerous diseases, we have proved that no other life force can be as superior, as paramount, as omnipotent and as impeccable as The Human beings themselves. Our tame animals, lame creatures, from the smallest to the largest, silently and helplessly sacrifice themselves for the betterment of Humans and the Humanity.

Years after years, we’ve been successful in maximising the comforts in life, making this globe smaller and time is not too far, when we will conquer life itself. Knowledge so immense, so in-depth, so vast, from the smallest division of the matter to the largest solar bodies, which the Apes can only remotely dream of achieving. What really makes us strongest is the N-Power, which can destroy any…………………………………any extraterrestrial invasion.”

The Apes realising that the task ahead is an impracticable and impervious one to their efforts, only just cared to reply in a pessimistic and sarcastic way-

“Our dear brothers, we really admire your perseverance, dedication and intelligence, which makes you what you are. But what will the Mother Earth think when she is left with no option, except to accept the disastrous human creations on herself. And the already scarce land on her is further divided into pieces. Whom will she shower her blessings on, when her own children betray her in the name of religion? It seems when you get used to your daily chores, a feeling of boredom and depression creeps in. You tend to break away from your domain and act in an utterly undisciplined manner. Surprisingly the female counterparts invade shopping malls and other half of your species invades others’ homes. Some of them even go on to invade other countries.

Never did we experience the soothing air-conditioned rooms, nor the pleasurable and engrossing entertainment equipment, nor the exhilarating speed of fossil fuel operated vehicles, or the unexpected, unforeseen and such varied climatic changes, or the ever accumulating and immortal “plastic” gadgets, the penetrating affection of the almighty Sun, the affectionate warmth of The Mother Earth, just enough to melt the polar ice, the abundantly filled and over flowing seas, the stupefying and mesmerising perfume of industrialisation, the sooty fog on a tender morning, and the steadily flowing dark rivers. Never did we see a sweet, crumbled up little child, embracing The Jupiter, like we see on every other street on The Mother Earth. We never saw lakhs of innocent people losing their lives, because of few men in patriotic attire, but a treasonous and traitorous heart inside. And we definitely did not come across any species characterised by members who eat their own fellows.

We always believed that Humans exhibited ‘Humanity’, a quality that makes one and all feel good. But now we are compelled to accept ‘Humanity’ as a word with two meanings. One, which your present day species exhibit and the other, which exists in many of your holy books. The cranium that you possess is no doubt larger than us, but inside it seems so shallow. And now, we can already see your tailbone growing stronger again.”

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Fillers: Random one liners, T-shirt quotes, ice breakers, etc.

These are not main course items. These are fillers. Just like morning breakfast or the evening supper. A light meal for the mind. Like the vital warm-up before a intense exercise. Just like foreplay before your most memorable night! There’s nothing serious about them. They are just like that! Each one is unique. Not related in any way to the previous one or the one succeeding.
Please do not copy if you like them...
  • A girl with a good body but an unattractive face is like music with heavy percussion but no melody.
  • I am feeling drowsy, but I don’t want to sleep. Give me some shots of cocaine, talk to me!
  • I have many soft corners for you, you can touch a few!
  • I was never so keen to learn surface anatomy as much as I am now. Thanks to you.
  • You are looking so fine, that I am feeling underdressed.
  • What could be the distance between Earth and the Moon? So you don’t know! Cool! What else do we have in common?
  • Smoking smothers, Beer stinks, Drugs stick, Safe Sex rules!
  • I am God cursed, Devil blessed!
  • Once upon a time, I was lazy, and the times never changed. I suffer from Motivational Deficiency!
  • I have what you want, if you have what I want.
  • People told me, intelligence is bliss. But the phrase “Ignorance is bliss” is really famous. I was confused. So I ignored intelligence!
  • Don’t raise your hands and open your mouth when you stink!
  • What’s up? Not much?! I thought you had a few grey cells up there!
  • I never talk to stones.
  • I will try my best to get up early. Let’s see if my sub-conscious co-operates!
  • He was rich. He had a bumper harvest every year. His lands were massive, full of weeds!
To be continued...sooner or later!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Bacilli in Disguise

This is a story of a young person, which brings to light few concepts related to the famous system of medicine- Homeopathy. This is a science which involves treating patients based on the law ‘Similia Similibus Curentur’ which means ‘like cures like’. Thus the medicine capable of producing symptoms in healthy individuals will cure the same symptoms in diseased individuals!

Please refer the P.S. for better understanding of the story, as some words may seem irrelevantly placed, unless their meaning in relation to Homeopathy is correlated.

A case of phthisis, was in the deepest of crisis.
In search of an antidote, where the disease was in vogue,
He flew, walked, talked and slept too!
How beautiful was her style, smile and sight!
It felt heaven, when she kissed him goodnight.
He was erotic, but the disease was endemic.

The new T.B. bacilli, all geared up to explore his alveoli,

Had no mercy, felt no sympathy.
But the ATTENUATED air, only freed him from his despair!

Now, the Intelligent Intelligence,

Be it natural or artificial,
Would question what was beneficial...
Was it natural cure by ATTENUATION?
Or was it natural coincidence by SUSPENSION?

The cause remained unknown, the story untold.

Too late for the mystery to unfold.
The young lad reached the crematory,
Before he could reach the laboratory!

Everything goes on fine,

With a loaf of bread, some butter
And a glass full of wine.
But the curiosity drives us restless.
Till eternity we will be helpless.

He was erotic, but the disease endemic!

Was it Homeopathy that ALMOST spared him from phthisis?
Or was it the S.T.D. which drove him into crisis?

- Phthisis=Tuberculosis.

- The word ‘attenuated’ here means diluted. The homeopathic prescriptions often involve medicines which are administered in diluted forms. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the person was administered homeopathic medicine. I frequently encountered the question “Did the lady give him some medicine?” The ‘attenuated air’ which he breathed in, served that purpose here, as the air contained the T.B. bacilli in the ‘diluted’ form, contributed by many people who were T.B. stricken in that area.

- ‘Suspension’ word was used by Dr. Samuel Hahnemann, the founder of homeopathy, and some others during that period (about 160 yrs ago), by which he meant that a pre-existing weaker disease would be suspended in a person when he is affected by a stronger disease later, which in this case was the S.T.D.